I’m staring at a clean white page…

It’s not often I find myself staring at a blank page for very long. I can usually pull something from my head onto the page – even if it is something that I end up changing irrevocably or ditching all together. However, today I have been struggling. In fact, the day before as well. I was struggling to think of something to write about here, in my blog.

It is both funny and exciting that people read and seem to enjoy my blog. And unexpected. I had no idea how much fun it would be to write or how seriously I would start to take writing it.

When I first wrote, a mere two months ago, I had never even read a blog. I had no idea of the sheer amount of writing out there on the net. I read books, newspapers and used the Internet to buy stuff, find information but I didn’t look to it for anything else. I hadn’t really caught up with the rest of the world. I didn’t really want to.

How quickly things change. First of all, there is the sheer excitement that people are reading your words. It no longer feels like I am shouting in the dark. I can imagine an audience out there. Connections have been made. I didn’t realise, at first, how much it would feel like a conversation. Both when I am reading other people’s blogs and when they read and comment on my blog. I have learned things, felt supported and, perhaps most importantly, I have discovered other writers. It is good to realise that other people have felt the same way you do and are willing to share their experiences and help you along. I never imagined when I started this strange journey that one of the results would be the feeling of being part of such a warm community. It’s good to know you all.

Hello world!

I have never been so nervous. This is the start of something new and I feel the usual amounts of trepidation that you feel when you put a new project into motion – will it work, will I be able to do it, will people care, read, be the least bit bothered about what I have to say. Not only that but I will be allowing people to read what I have written, something that I previously only allowed those the closest to me to do. If the people who might read my work were sat in front of me, armed with red pens in order to correct and change, I could not be more anxious.

I have been writing for years now. In fact, as long as I can remember I have tried to put stories together. It stresses me out when I cannot write and if I’m not actually writing, chances are I am thinking about what I could write. It seems about time to try and actually see if what I have written is good and to get myself some readers.

Having recently become unemployed, I decided that it was time to have another try at getting published. And this time I was determined not to lose heart, give up or become depressed by the rejection letters or – in some ways worse – good but we can’t guarantee a market so no type letters. Publishers are as cash-strapped as anyone at the minute so of course, it is not a good time to be trying to get started. Nevertheless, I was determined that this time something was going to happen.

Things have changed a lot since I last tried to get published about 10 or so years ago. My teaching career had taken off and teaching being what it is, I had little time for writing or to put in the hours it takes to find an agent or a publisher so it all went on the back burner. Now I’m back and there is a whole new way of doing things. I have to admit that I was a little bamboozled. Where to start, what to do first, I’m still not sure if I’m taking the right path. I’d welcome advice from anyone who has been down this road. I look at my computer and I sometime just want to scream “Help” at it. And of course, it just sits there smugly, unaffected by my panic.

Other days are more productive and I have found some sites (www.authonomy.com, for example) where I have posted my writing and where comments have been good and that has helped a lot. I’m learning how to share my work through facebook and twitter and try not to sit anxiously checking for notifications when I have done. Most excitely, I have decided to publish through Createspace and Amazon and am currently waiting for the proofs so I can check them. Excitement and anxiety fight with each other for supremacy on a daily basis but now I have started down the road there is no turning back. Which is good because I am nothing if not a coward.

So, I will be keeping everyone updated of my progress through this blog, both with Shattered Reflections and with new projects that I am working on.